Some of you may know that I live Behind the Back of Beyond. Some of you may even remember that broadband hasn't reached me yet. But this morning someone has forgotten that and ever since 9am an email has been trying to worm its way through to me. It's wriggled halfway and then the server terminated the connection. Thrice! It's taking about two minutes for each one percent to crawl down the telephone line and I am going mad. If I had any hair I'd pull it out. Alopecia's put paid to that. I'll prove it tomorrow by posting a picture of me and Jane Wenham-Jones in matching wigs. I took two identical ones to Caerleon in case one got wet. You can't dry them with a hair dryer.
If this email fails again my only option is to take the laptop out in the car - I've a dongle on the laptop and it is set for broadband, so I'm told - and try it on that. If I drive uphill about a mile and a bit I can get a slow connection. If I go about five miles I'll get a decent one.
Now, my question is, if this email turns out to be someone sending me a stupid joke, will I be treated sympathetically by the courts if I kill them?