It do be Talk Like A Pirate Day and I 'ave a secret to be tellin 'e. I be the descendant of Blackbeard. He swashed, buckled, raped and pillaged on the seven seas, not bein' sure if he were Pirate or Viking, ye see. 'E were so villainous that it do be takin' fifteen thrusts of the cutlass afore he dropped to the deck and then 'is 'ead, it were chopped off an' overboard it went along of 'is body. An' crew, you know what, 'is body swam around the ship fer 'alf an 'our afore it sunk to Davey Jone's locker. An' that's the truth!
I go swashing, buckling an' scraping of the barnacles off the keyboard to be doin' today, an then it be bathin' the parrot and filin' his beak.
An' I awready be fed up with this and be goin' to check on the crew. That be you Julie P, Bos'n Teresa and Scurvy Simon.
As Bos'n T finished with a joke, ere be mine.
Cap'n - 'Where be me buccaneers?'
Cook - 'On your buccan head.'