Sunday, August 31, 2014

August giggle blog


Ugh! We have slugs getting into the house. We’ve never actually seen any but each morning their slimy trails are across the living room carpet. Now that may not sound like much of a giggle but read on…
I sprinkled salt everywhere. It didn’t deter the determined gastropods. We laid beer traps. Our trespassers must be tee-total. The LSO filled a gap outside where they might have been squeezing through, though how they got in from the outside step is a mystery. It didn’t work.

So, what do we do in these techno-days? I turned to Google and discovered we are in huge company. Lots of householders were looking for a way to stop these horrible intruders but no-one had come up with a slug-stop solution.

‘You need to find out where they are getting in,’ said a helpful post.

‘How?’ I wondered and then discovered someone else had already asked the same thing.

The postee’s answer made me believe he was as thick as a doorpost. Or he was having us all on (and why did I assume it was a He?).

‘Get up when it’s dark, go into the affected room and catch a slug,’ he said. ‘Tie a piece of cotton around it and leave a long end then, when the slug leaves, you can follow the trail of cotton.’

Very Hansel and Gretel.

I told the gift-son. ‘Oh, do it,’ he urged. ‘I’d love to see the LSO’s face (he doesn’t actually call him that) when you wake him at two in the morning, present him with a reel of cotton and ask him to tie it around a slug. I’d love to hear his response. It’ll be in his best Welsh Windsor Davies It Ain’t Half Hot, Mum voice.’

The LSO did refuse to tie cotton around slugs. He said it would slide off them.

‘Not if you loop it around their ears,’ I pointed out.

‘And what bloody colour would you like me to use?’ boomed this Welsh Windsor Davies It Ain’t Half Hot, Mum voice.

Well, what colour would you use?

 

And from Sue Blackburn –

Well, I know I was slightly harassed, things whirling around in the old brainbox (although I am beginning to seriously feel said box is emptying rapidly) Nevertheless, I was somewhat disconcerted to find myself trying to switch off the electric fire with the TV remote control.

8 comments:

  1. Ha ha - I can just hear the LSO doing his best Welsh Windsor Davies!

    Now what you need is a pet hedgehog or toad in your living room, something that will eat your unwelcome visitors.

    The LSO is right, cotton would slide off them, If you can't find a willing and hungry hedgehog, you need to knit the slugs little woolly jumpers then attach the cotton to them :-)

    Ha ha, Sue too :-) x

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  2. Lynne, I honestly think they're ghosts. Nobody sees them, they're immune to poison and traps. We have them too. My advice is clear up slime and ignore. Life is far too short for the cotton thing.

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  3. When I was a student, I lived in a flat in Plymouth. The kitchen had a corrugated plastic roof which blew up and down in the wind and every morning there'd be a procession of slugs across the worktop! Those were the days.

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  4. They are funny giggles, especially lso - I've got one of those, who goes into a broad Welsh accent when he's shocked or angry.

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  5. Sue, that's a seriously funny giggle. You'll be switching the kettle on with it next. Mind you. I went into the cupboard for a glass today, and found a 4 pint, one of those plastic bottles half full of milk in there. It wasn't me, because I drink soya, and that was cows milk. Either hubby or son not paying attentionk:))

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  6. Not sure where that k came from!!!

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  7. Thanks for the giggle. By coincidence was just watching an item on Breakfast TV about the invasion of slugs. Sally, the presenter was doing more squirming than the slugs who were making their getaway across the desk. Sadly the sticky backed copper tape they used to deter them made no difference at all.

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    1. Thanks for that, Maggie. You've saved me some money. I was thinking of trying copper strips. Now I'll revert to the other idea. A machine gun.

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