Ugh! We have slugs getting into the house. We’ve never actually seen any but each morning their slimy trails are across the living room carpet. Now that may not sound like much of a giggle but read on…I sprinkled salt everywhere. It didn’t deter the determined gastropods. We laid beer traps. Our trespassers must be tee-total. The LSO filled a gap outside where they might have been squeezing through, though how they got in from the outside step is a mystery. It didn’t work.
So, what do we do in these techno-days? I turned to Google and discovered we are in huge company. Lots of householders were looking for a way to stop these horrible intruders but no-one had come up with a slug-stop solution.
‘You need to find out where they are getting in,’ said a helpful post.
‘How?’ I wondered and then discovered someone else had already asked the same thing.
The postee’s answer made me believe he was as thick as a doorpost. Or he was having us all on (and why did I assume it was a He?).
‘Get up when it’s dark, go into the affected room and catch a slug,’ he said. ‘Tie a piece of cotton around it and leave a long end then, when the slug leaves, you can follow the trail of cotton.’
Very Hansel and Gretel.
I told the gift-son. ‘Oh, do it,’ he urged. ‘I’d love to see the LSO’s face (he doesn’t actually call him that) when you wake him at two in the morning, present him with a reel of cotton and ask him to tie it around a slug. I’d love to hear his response. It’ll be in his best Welsh Windsor Davies It Ain’t Half Hot, Mum voice.’
The LSO did refuse to tie cotton around slugs. He said it would slide off them.
‘Not if you loop it around their ears,’ I pointed out.
‘And what bloody colour would you like me to use?’ boomed this Welsh Windsor Davies It Ain’t Half Hot, Mum voice.
Well, what colour would you use?
And from Sue Blackburn –
Well, I know I was slightly harassed, things whirling around in the old brainbox (although I am beginning to seriously feel said box is emptying rapidly) Nevertheless, I was somewhat disconcerted to find myself trying to switch off the electric fire with the TV remote control.