Wednesday, August 20, 2014

It's all lies! Lynne, aged 9 and 1 month and 1 day.

Forget the friends and the rubber mice. OK, the mice are lies because they weren’t real but they aren’t the big fib.

Kids at most schools had to write diaries. My Gran said it was because the teachers were nosy. My mother lived in fear of me telling some home truths. Me? I just wanted to entertain my teacher but I also knew when to censor my own work. And now we get to the bit about the hospital and waving to the patients. That’s the censored bit.

What really happened was this – Colin Page told us he had seen a naked woman in one of the hospital windows so, after school, a big group of us went to see if we could be so lucky. I don’t think any one of us had ever seen a naked person in those days. We didn’t that day either. Or any of the following ones but I knew that I couldn’t give the real reason for me and my friend peering over the hospital wall so I came up with an acceptable alternative.


  1. This made me giggle. Somewhere in my loft I still have the exercise book with one of my first, ahem, non-fiction pieces. Illustrated, too.
    Well, it was *meant* to be non-fiction. It was meant to describe what had happened to 6 year old me over Christmas. Quite why I decided to draw a picture of a Christmas tree, centre, flanked by my stick-figure parents lying on their backs with a bottle in each hand, I'm not sure.
    Perhaps even at that age, I hankered to present something a bit more sensational than the truth :D
    My Mum was MORTIFIED.

  2. Love it Lynne! Your illustration is lovely too.I wish I still had my old school books.
    I embarrassed my mum like Alison! I wrote a story about how my parents had gone out and left me alone in the house all night and I thought the roses on the wallpaper had come to life as giant spiders - my mum was mortified too :-) x

  3. I made up a brother in my school diary session - I've no idea why. Then three years later he came along! My writing certainly wasn't as neat as yours Lynne!

  4. Brilliant Lynne. And as Teresa and Wendy say lovely writing and illustrating. I feel quite left out - we didn't have to write diaries - maybe that's why I've never kept one. Course now I wish I had - although my photograph albums are a sort of diary. At least they pinpoint things in time which my memory fails spectacularly to do now!! :o) xx