Monday, December 29, 2014
I was searching through my school diary to see which secrets I wanted to share with you. March 1st seemed apt because of the picture.
There’s a problem with the second line of this entry. We have not had it (sewing lesson) for a few weeks. You cannot hear the joy in those words. My great-grandmother sewed for a living. In her later years her hands were swollen and mis-shaped from arthritis, curved as if they were still clutching a needle. The sewing gene wasn’t passed on to me. I remember those lessons and my hot and sweaty little hands trying to grip the needle. Miss Tipper used to let me go out of the classroom to wash my hands under the cold tap but the freezing water didn’t work any magic. I still don’t like sewing.
To draw a picture of a classroom, or any of my attempts at sewing would have required the drawing of people so I opted out and added a bit about my brother’s Meccano set. This is the ‘apt’ bit because Tracy Baines recently gave the LSO the name of Meccano Man, saying that if he was cut open his heart would look like it was made of Meccano now that he has so many stents in it.
My music stand? I wanted to play piano but we didn’t have one. When we did get one my Dad told me not to write about it in my diary. Why? I’m not telling. Oh, well, maybe later.
Wednesday, December 24, 2014
I don't like Christmas and don't celebrate it but if you want to then it's fine by me. Each to their own. I do not understand those people who, on Escape To The Country, want a dining room that will be good for Xmas day. What about the other 364/5 days a year? They are all important so here am I wishing you Happy Days.
Tuesday, December 16, 2014
Post something controversial, says Brian Feinblum.
on his list of blogging suggestions. So here it comes. The following is from an NHS feed that arrives on my laptop, and has done since I bought it.
The global surge in ADHD [attention deficit hyperactivity disorder] diagnosis has more to do with marketing than medicine, according to experts. .
ADHD is being medicalised – that is, for a variety of reasons, children who may be simply "naughty" and high spirited are being misdiagnosed with ADHD, and are wrongly being treated with powerful medications such as methylphenidate, better known as Ritalin.
This study concludes that the "global expansion" of ADHD and its subsequent medicalisation has been driven by five major causes:
drug industry lobbying
- the influence of US-based psychiatry
- the adoption of looser criteria for diagnosis
- the influence of ADHD patient advocacy groups
- the growth of information on the internet
At the end of this it said it was an opinion piece and not the last word on this controversial subject. Here’s the last (controversial and maybe even tongue-in-cheek) word from me.
There were a couple of kids when I went to school who would be diagnosed with ADHD now. They were fortunate and got cured. The Headteacher’s cane worked a treat.
Wednesday, December 10, 2014
Andy tells us about the school play. His daughter, four year old Amelia, is a Townspeoples. (No, I haven’t spelled it wrongly.) He wasn’t too sure what that meant. He had also thought that the main parts in a nativity play belonged to Mary and Joseph. Not in this one. The Innkeeper’s Cat stole the show.
Just one of the many things that have cheered us over the past three days. Colin is now home after having another three stents. He now has nine in all and has to go back for another next year. These are keeping his arteries open and his heart working. Once again the heart ward was full of men who didn’t smoke and weren’t overweight. Colin’s problem is hereditary.
We have had so many lovely messages from friends and family. It’s made us realise once again how lucky we are.
Thank you to everyone who sent us good wishes.
Monday, December 01, 2014
Subtitle : ‘That’s a lovely Thai.’
And what about this little gem?
Who or what was meant by Pepsi cans it? (Find the answer after Sue’s giggle.)
Friday, November 28, 2014
Monday, November 24, 2014
3. An experienced salesperson to chat to.
4. Chairs to sit on whilst peering at the packed shelves or reading a few pages and making decisions.
5. A chance to listen to customers and hear how helpful the man behind the counter was. Examples. ‘Do you have a book of poetry – I’ve forgotten the title- but it has a poem about larks in it?’ ‘I’ve got some numbers for the books I want but they may have been written down wrongly…’
6. The joy of finding a favourite author and one of his books that I’d never read.
7. Discovering that the book is signed.
8. Getting a chance to discuss the author with the salesperson and discover he visits the shop to sign his books each time a new one comes out. I’ll be there next time.
9. To look at books that a certain company would never have recommended for me and find ones that I had never considered before.
10. The joy of wandering around with a bagful of books knowing that I had hours and hours of pleasure to come.
And a post-script. People who wander the streets, oblivious to others and to traffic, texting on their mobile phones annoy me so why did a guy walking through the shopping centre reading a book make me smile?
Saturday, November 22, 2014
Monday, November 17, 2014
When it got to the final two boxes – one with 10p in and the other with £75,000 – Dave groaned and everyone in the pub was shouting Deal to the offer the Banker had made me – Walk away now with £22,075. Of course, back in October when I’d played the game I’d said No Deal and walked away with the big money.
A few years previously we’d lost our business and our home and were re-building our lives when the LSO has his heart attacks. Sick pay was just over £50 per week so we were back to being broke. We’d borrowed the money to get to the studio in Bristol. Deal Or No Deal changed our lives. And I’m still making money out of it by giving talks on my experiences.
Oh, that's not the LSO I'm hugging. It's the charismatic Noel Edmonds.
You can check out my game on Youtube. Put in Deal Or No Deal 2007 Lynn. (Wrong year and wrong spelling of my name but it gets you there.)
Monday, November 10, 2014
Sunday, November 02, 2014
“Oh,” she said, tutting away, “I much prefer talc. Those perfume smells get right up my nose.”
Cue hysterics from both of us when she realised what she’d said.
Monday, October 27, 2014
Tuesday, October 21, 2014
I've no idea why I'm in so much demand lately but I'm not complaining. And please don't give up after the first couple of sentences. I think if this magazine was paper the LSO would have thrown it across the room when he read the start of this. You need to read on at least until the top of the first photo.
Sunday, October 19, 2014
Sunday, October 12, 2014
If you want to see a Proper Job nip over to the link below and see how beautifully Susan Jones has presented an interview with yours truly. (Complete with photos and confessions.)
Monday, October 06, 2014
Wednesday, October 01, 2014
He didn’t get a choice. The following year, on his tenth birthday, I sent his Mom a card saying, ‘Congratulations on the birth of your Baby Boy!’
And there’s more…
We’ve been laying slabs and stones around a tree stump and underneath it all placed a membrane which is supposed to stop a lot of weed growth. Yesterday we noticed that a large chunk of uncovered membrane was missing. It was semi-circular and looked as if something had chewed through it. Then, last night I spotted the culprit. A little fox. I shooed him away and then felt guilty. The membrane is soft and probably makes a cosy blanket wherever he lives. I wondered if he’d come back for the remainder of the roll. He could bring a mate and they could take an end each and carry it across the garden to the hole in the fence. I could even hear him saying (in Fox) to his mate, ‘Left a bit, right a bit,’ as they manoeuvred it through he gap.
And from Sue Blackburn
I'd been cleaning (no that's not the giggle although it well could be) and afterwards was in the bathroom putting on a bit of lippy as you do, and doing the old hair before going out. Tweaked to relative satisfaction I duly sprayed it. As I'm reasonably quick on the uptake in some areas I knew immediately something was not quite right. I'd used the spray polish. And no it didn't make my hair lovely and shiny.
Tuesday, September 23, 2014
You could have breakfast, lunch, and dinner on 3 different continents.
You could outline the book you're going to write, start the screenplay adaptation, and watch "Gone With The Wind," before the sun even sets.
Spend a day at work, and still have 16 hours left over.
Or you could just think 60,000 different thoughts as you tool all over Malvern.
Hey, the record for climbing Mt. Everest is under 9 hours, leaving 15 to nap and go Yeti searching. There's so much time in a day, Lynne. So much.
Tuesday, September 16, 2014
Friday, September 12, 2014
Oh, well, better late than never.
Pop over to http://creative-frontiers.com/blog/writing-desk/fiction/ and you can follow my week of writing advice. (Not that you need it, you understand.)
Tuesday, September 09, 2014
Sunday, August 31, 2014
Thursday, August 28, 2014
I hope the 'dress sense' gene missed me out. This is my family circa 1900 (I think). No, it must be later. Ankles are on display.
The proud gentleman with the fine whiskers is my great-grandfather. I just about remember him when he was very old and his whiskers were nicotine stained and he paid me 3d to give him a kiss. His mahogany bureau sits in our living room.
The man on the far right - according to my Grandmother - died of a broken heart after his wife died during childbirth. The baby died too and he lived for six months after the tragedy.
I wonder who the others are.
Wednesday, August 20, 2014
Saturday, August 16, 2014
And do leave comments there and not here. It'll look better.
Thanking you in anticipation. (Who remembers having to type that at the end of letters?)
Thursday, August 07, 2014
Lately I have been decorating and not a word, apart from emails and they don't count, has passed through my laptop.
My writing room is getting a new look. I couldn't decide between classy or fun but opted for fun when I saw this so suitable wallpaper. So I am being creative with décor but I will get back to writing.
Thursday, July 31, 2014
And here's Susan Blackburn's giggle -
Tuesday, July 22, 2014
Friday, July 18, 2014
Saturday, July 12, 2014
Tuesday, July 08, 2014
Saturday, July 05, 2014
Tuesday, July 01, 2014
Extra info. The computer shop mentioned above is not what Betty and I call Pissy World. The large national store got this name after a call from a telephone company wanting Betty’s business. A nice Indian lady tried to persuade her to change telephone companies with the offer, ‘You get special coupon for place like Deb And Hams and Pissy World.’
And there’s more. While I was typing this the church bells began to ring. The LSO checked his watch. ‘It’s ten past nine,’ he said. ‘I wonder why the church bells are ringing.’ And my reply was, ‘Perhaps we’re being invaded.’
Over to Sue Blackburn
I felt ever so silly when the 'pretty pink flowers' turned out to be petals that had drifted down from the hanging basket above!
Saturday, June 28, 2014
(Now, I am not usually cruel to animals but slugs…? If anyone can tell me what use they are then I won’t feed them out of date goodies.)
Tuesday, June 24, 2014
Saturday, June 14, 2014
‘Wouldn’t that make it Fart(h)er?’ said the LSO.
‘Well, that would suit most.’
‘And what if they start putting an R in Mother and making it Martyr,’ said the LSO, not sensibly and venturing onto dangerous ground.
Then I remembered the martyr streak that tends to run through our family. My mother used to do everything clutching her head or her stomach. One day I caught myself clutching my back and doing an exaggerated moan as I took out the rubbish (not my job!). I realised I was in danger of turning into a martyr too.
Happy Dads’ Day, if it applies.
This post is dedicated to Farters and Martyrs everywhere.
Saturday, June 07, 2014
Monday, June 02, 2014
His wife had left him and he could manage to do everything apart from ironing. And how come he had so many shirts? He owned a gentlemen’s outfitters and every day he’d been taking a brand new shirt from stock.
I've had it up to here with glasses. Well up to my eyes anyway - when I can find them!!!
I couldn't find them anywhere. Not by my bed, not in my Snug, not in the bathroom. They were nowhere to be found. 'I really am going mad' thinks I.
I retrace my steps.I couldn't have could I?
I'd put them on my bed whilst getting dressed and, when I checked, there they were all neatly tucked in from when I'd made it!!