Thursday, July 31, 2014

August giggle blog

Four year old Amelia had already had dinner when she came to see us. We’d invited her parents to eat with us but didn’t want to leave Amelia out so when it came to pudding the LSO asked, ‘Would you like a sliver of treacle tart?’

‘What’s a sliver?’ asked Amelia.

‘A little slice,’ the LSO told her.

She thought  for a moment, smiled up at him and said, ‘Please can I have a big sliver?’

And here's Susan Blackburn's giggle -

I was trying out my new phone/camera and was somewhat disconcerted when all I could see on the screen was not what I wanted to photograph but the rather lovely view of the seashore - behind me!
I had it set on 'gallery!'  I was looking at a photograph I'd already taken.


Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Limerick found

I've been tidying my writing room and found a yellowing and crispy slip of paper with the following on it -

An erotic writer called Maud

Wrote books that were simply adored

‘Til the head of Black Lace

Saw the hairs on her face

And said, ‘Sir, you’re not Maud.

You’re a fraud.’

Friday, July 18, 2014

Bucket lists and why I won't be making one

 I am not afraid of flying but I am terrified of being locked in, no matter how big the space. It could be a small cupboard or Wembley Stadium. I have always said that I would fly around the world if I could do it in an open topped plane, Biggles’ style, wearing a leather helmet and goggles. I suppose you could say that going up in a Tiger Moth was on my bucket list so imagine my surprise when one of those Special Offer companies who send out daily emails gave me the chance to do just that. I had my credit card at the ready and was about to sign up when I thought I should read the small print. It said no-one with a back problem would be allowed to fly. That’s me out. With only one lumbar disc left it would be silly to entertain the thought of goggles, helmet and Tiger Moth flight.
I asked my sister for her opinion. (Glynis Scrivens.)

‘As for the bucket lists and people doing crazy things in their old age - my take on this is why jeopardise your mobility? It's a “nothing left to lose” attitude, which I'd probably  adopt if I had a terminal illness. But these are risky activities and there are often reports of mishaps on the news. It's definitely an age to decide what we want to do with whatever time we have remaining, and things like holidays can't go on being postponed. Or writing a book. Or having a website. Or catching up with old friends. But why invite a life-changing accident?
Not for me.’

Nor me, Sis. So I won’t be making a bucket list but I have been helping an older friend with hers. Last year we went to An Evening Of Clairvoyance. She was able to tick that off. Now she tells me she’s never been to a Bingo Club. Online ones won’t do. I’m hoping she’ll ask another friend and I won’t have to accompany her on that one.

Saturday, July 12, 2014

What I'm reading now

I’m in a book club. We get a varied diet. Two months ago it was an old classic – London Belongs To Me by Norman Collins. It’s not been out of print since it first appeared in 1945. It was 750 pages long but enjoyed by all, which makes a change.

Last month it was a biography of some woman who’d done very little but was egotistical enough to think the public would be interested. All but one agreed about the egotistical bit. It was 350 pages long but seemed a lot longer than Norman’s.

This month we are going to be reading The Uncommon Reader by Alan Bennett. After the last two it was a wise choice as it’s a brilliant author and only 124 A5 sized pages.

Tuesday, July 08, 2014

Words of writing wisdom

More from me on Creative Frontiers. See

and please post any comments there. Take a look around while you are there. For writers there’s lots to see and do.

Saturday, July 05, 2014

Tour de France - Stage 1

Cycle racing is a bit of a mystery to most Brits so it was lovely to see so many turn out in Leeds this morning. Our family have always been involved in the sport. That’s why I wrote Racing Start. It’s aimed at pre-teens but a lot of people could learn about the sport from it. Not a long read, at 27,000 words, and you might enjoy Le Tour more if you knew more about a cyclist’s life.
Racing Start - an Amazon best-seller. Fast paced cycling fiction for 8-12 yr olds
OK. It's another plug for my book but you have to admit it's good timing!

Tuesday, July 01, 2014

July Giggle blog.

This made me giggle. You probably don’t know Betty and what she’s like (very funny) but I hope you can see the funny side too.

When I went to visit fellow writer (Elizabeth Moulder who writes for Woman’s Weekly) she told me about her new laptop. Finally, after many years’ service her ancient desk top computer failed. She’d taken it to a computer shop where it had been declared dead. ‘Why did it die?’ Betty asked the whizz-kid behind the counter. ‘Because it’s so old,’ came the reply. And Betty, in true writerly style, said. ‘But I’ve only dusted it twice.’

 Extra info. The computer shop mentioned above is not what Betty and I call Pissy World. The large national store got this name after a call from a telephone company wanting Betty’s business. A nice Indian lady tried to persuade her to change telephone companies with the offer, ‘You get special coupon for place like Deb And Hams and Pissy World.’

 And there’s more. While I was typing this the church bells began to ring. The LSO checked his watch. ‘It’s ten past nine,’ he said. ‘I wonder why the church bells are ringing.’ And my reply was, ‘Perhaps we’re being invaded.’

 Over to Sue Blackburn
Sue’s Giggle : I felt ever so chuffed when what I thought was an evergreen plant suddenly sported some really pretty pink flowers.
I felt ever so silly when the 'pretty pink flowers' turned out to be petals that had drifted down from the hanging basket above!