On the 28th September, two years ago our daughter got married. Happy anniversary Leanne and Ken.
Obviously the LSO was in a quandary about his speech as father of the bride so he turned to me for help, along with George Evans’ book, How To Be A Happy Old Man. Here’s the result.
First of all I’d like to say how beautiful my daughter looks today. And how happy.
Next I’d like to say how beautiful … no that’s wrong… I’d like to welcome Ken to the family. And to welcome his family to today’s celebration.
Ken and Leanne, I hope you’ll both be very happy. Happy people last longer.
A while back Lynne bought me a book called How to be a happy old man and I’ve taken some advice from it to give to you, Ken.
Actually after being married to Lynne for 46 years I could have written the book myself.
First of all you need to know that to become a HOM - happy old man - you need a HOW - happy old woman. I’m a HOM and Lynne’s a HOW.
Like me, you’ll get older and realise how important a HOW can be.
The key is in a song – ‘I want to be happy but I can’t be happy ‘til I make you happy too’.
There are rules you need to remember for how to keep your HOW happy. The three rules are –
1. NEVER WIN AN ARGUMENT. She’s always right, especially when she’s obviously not.
2. IT’S ALWAYS YOUR FAULT. That goes for lost handbags, missing shoes, global warming and everything else. And
3. NEVER FORGET BIRTHDAYS AND ANNIVERSARIES. Saying sorry can be very expensive.
Friends are the people whose faults you are prepared to put up with. You know they can’t be perfect. Only your HOW is perfect. Remind her of that often.
Always be useful. It’ll make you feel better and give you a reason for living. Of course your HOW will need a lot of TLC and that’ll keep you busy and useful.
Ken, we know that one of the problems you have is sleep, or should that be waking up?
Tiredness can be caused by lack of sleep or trapped wind. They both have the same effect on your mind. Wind, whether it’s up or down, can be a problem for a HOM, but never for a HOW. They don’t do trapped wind. That’s why men are called old farts.
Whether you stick to the rules or not, remember both of you, that happiness is a choice but it also needs working on.